Grace Upon Grace

It's been 18 years with Jesus Christ and there isn't possibly enough words to express how real He is despite the fears, doubts, loneliness, disappointments, and unbeliefs that plague me. There were beautiful and cheery times but those can sometimes be easily overshadowed by darkness this world brings to a soul sensitized to pain and suffering.

"Why?" has always been the question I've asked the most since I began talking. It mostly annoys people because it's either they're too busy or too lazy to answer. Answers bring either joy and pain but mostly it's pain. Pain that eventually turns to joy—which is possibly the most difficult fight to do and yet probably the most beautiful. I often lack faith and questioned whether I really am His child or am simply good in acting everything out.

In my heart, I know I've never been good. Never been kind. Never been thoughtful of others. Never really cared. But when people say that I am, it wrenches my gut because it isn't entirely true. What I know to be true is that the good and kind that I am is because of the blood He shed for me. The images of success and failures that I've been and will be, has been covered that no pressure of this world can possibly shatter. Right now, I'm exceedingly glad that I can always rest with joyful tears as He lulls me to sleep. When stripped off of everything, I know I am who I am because of who He is.

"...in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus." -Ephesians 2:7

Calayan Mission Trip: The Right Kind of Risk

I like danger. Not because I want to be in  danger--I have few stitches in my body to demonstrate that it's not something your trifle with. But somehow being close to it gives a feeling of wonder and awe that you can't possibly experience if you're in your bed sleeping comfortably. Should you flirt with danger and throw caution to the wind and cross the street even if the light is red? Not at all. Life is full of dangers but not one danger can have the power to take away your life unless it is really time for you to die.

"I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers.” 2 Corinthians 11:26

Isn’t it interesting how the Apostle Paul lived in such danger? I think it’s the do or die mindset of Philippians 1:21, “For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain.” Whether he lives or dies, it will not be in vain because it is in Christ and for Christ to happen. This is the kind of life in danger that I hope to live. Thus, Calayan Island is one of my favorite places to go on short mission trips.

First boat from left was the boat we sailed in for 7 hours from Claveria, Cagayan.

In the island, there’s a community called Dibay. The travel to Dibay, Calayan begins with a 13-hour bus trip to Claveria, Cagayan and a 6-8 hour trip in an unpredictable open sea. The community doesn’t have electricity, cellphone signal, Internet or whatever technology that connects people all the time in the city. It’s probably a place that most people wouldn’t go to because all city comforts we’ve grown up with will be stripped off from you.

But being stripped off of known comforts is probably one of the most beautiful things that can happen to anyone. Being in Calayan always reminds me that Christ is always enough and what the world has to offer is nothing. To go there has always been a risk but I know that it’s the right kind of risk. It’s only Apostle Paul’s “in danger at sea” anyway.

Well, enough of my rambling. Here’s a video update when I served in Calayan a month ago for a kids’ camp.