Grace Upon Grace

It's been 18 years with Jesus Christ and there isn't possibly enough words to express how real He is despite the fears, doubts, loneliness, disappointments, and unbeliefs that plague me. There were beautiful and cheery times but those can sometimes be easily overshadowed by darkness this world brings to a soul sensitized to pain and suffering.

"Why?" has always been the question I've asked the most since I began talking. It mostly annoys people because it's either they're too busy or too lazy to answer. Answers bring either joy and pain but mostly it's pain. Pain that eventually turns to joy—which is possibly the most difficult fight to do and yet probably the most beautiful. I often lack faith and questioned whether I really am His child or am simply good in acting everything out.

In my heart, I know I've never been good. Never been kind. Never been thoughtful of others. Never really cared. But when people say that I am, it wrenches my gut because it isn't entirely true. What I know to be true is that the good and kind that I am is because of the blood He shed for me. The images of success and failures that I've been and will be, has been covered that no pressure of this world can possibly shatter. Right now, I'm exceedingly glad that I can always rest with joyful tears as He lulls me to sleep. When stripped off of everything, I know I am who I am because of who He is.

"...in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus." -Ephesians 2:7

Calayan Mission Trip: The Right Kind of Risk

I like danger. Not because I want to be in  danger--I have few stitches in my body to demonstrate that it's not something your trifle with. But somehow being close to it gives a feeling of wonder and awe that you can't possibly experience if you're in your bed sleeping comfortably. Should you flirt with danger and throw caution to the wind and cross the street even if the light is red? Not at all. Life is full of dangers but not one danger can have the power to take away your life unless it is really time for you to die.

"I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers.” 2 Corinthians 11:26

Isn’t it interesting how the Apostle Paul lived in such danger? I think it’s the do or die mindset of Philippians 1:21, “For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain.” Whether he lives or dies, it will not be in vain because it is in Christ and for Christ to happen. This is the kind of life in danger that I hope to live. Thus, Calayan Island is one of my favorite places to go on short mission trips.

First boat from left was the boat we sailed in for 7 hours from Claveria, Cagayan.

In the island, there’s a community called Dibay. The travel to Dibay, Calayan begins with a 13-hour bus trip to Claveria, Cagayan and a 6-8 hour trip in an unpredictable open sea. The community doesn’t have electricity, cellphone signal, Internet or whatever technology that connects people all the time in the city. It’s probably a place that most people wouldn’t go to because all city comforts we’ve grown up with will be stripped off from you.

But being stripped off of known comforts is probably one of the most beautiful things that can happen to anyone. Being in Calayan always reminds me that Christ is always enough and what the world has to offer is nothing. To go there has always been a risk but I know that it’s the right kind of risk. It’s only Apostle Paul’s “in danger at sea” anyway.

Well, enough of my rambling. Here’s a video update when I served in Calayan a month ago for a kids’ camp.

Blurred

My vision is blurred when I don't have glasses on. I often feel a little disabled and fazed without a clear sight of everything. But today is different. As I sit atop here seeing everyone in a blur riding escalators, walking around shops, conversing in restaurants, I feel a sense of comfort in not seeing how people's faces look. It's as if I'm excused from caring about their lives.

Luggage Cart Ride

If you've ridden grocery carts in supermarkets when you were still tiny enough to fit in them, I'm sure you'll definitely enjoy being pushed around in luggage carts. Our family brought my sister to the airport last Saturday and since we couldn't agree who will push my sister's luggage cart, Shelah and I took one luggage cart each and divided my sister's luggage bags. We didn't fight. We just wanted to push something around while waiting for my sister to finish international travel airport processes.

After dinner at Shakey's, my sister went to buy some stuff from a convenience store. While waiting, we spotted an empty luggage cart. I asked my twelve-year old sister Shelah if she wanted to ride the cart and be pushed around. She didn't want to. "Then if you don't want to be pushed around, I'll ride and you push me around, okay?" It was fun! :D

Review Ko Para Kay Mace

Disclaimer: I’m not a movie reviewer so don’t judge me. Gusto ko lang i-expound yung initial reaction ko sa Facebook status ko about That Thing Called Tadhana. At tsaka baka may spoiler din ahead, so ingat sa hindi pa nakakapanood.

Okay fine Mace, ako nang hindi nakapanood ng One More Chance. Tama na ang pagdikdik sa akin. Eh sa hindi ako mahilig sa Filipino films in general… more so of romantic films. Seryoso. Karamihan kasi predictable na nga ang story nakakadisappoint pa. Nakakakilig at magaganda din naman yung linya ng ibang Filipino romantic films pero most of the time pagdating sa ending: Yun na ‘yon? Yun lang? May mga potential pero hindi sya na-execute ng maayos. Madalas kukuha lang ng maraming nakakakilig na linya at scenes at paghahalu-haluin then voila! Tapos na. Yun na yun. Mapakilig ka lang pero wala nang iba pang substance. Pagdating sa cinematography talagang hindi ko mawari bakit pare-pareho na lang ang ang mga angle nila: boring. Basta makuha sa frame ang kagwapuhan at kagandahan ng artista ayos na. Parang hindi naccosider na ang bawat composition ng bawat frame ay nakakacontribute sa over-all cinematography. Hindi naman porke maganda ang camera maganda na agad ang kuha.

Dito ako na-amaze sa TTCT. Sa bawat opening scene ng bagong location ramdam mo din yung location na tila hinihalina ka na puntahan sila. Napaka-rich at vivid ng kuha. Simple, malinis, at artistic. Mapapa-Session Road ka, Sagada, airport, spa, Nishigo restaurant, BenCab museum, Cafe by the Ruins, at kahit yung bus stop nila pa-biyaheng Baguio parang gugustuhin mong puntahan.

Since ito nga ay hugot film, malamang maraming hugot di ba? Pero ang hugot hindi effective kung wala sa timing at pinagpipilitan. Maraming romantic films ang may ‘hugot’ element pero ang off ng dating. Pilit kasi. Awkward din ang pagkaka-deliver at sequencing. May tiwala ako sa friend ko na nag-recommend ng TTCT pero at the same time ayoko ma-disappoint so binabaan ko na lang din yung expectation ko para at least hindi ako manghihinayang sa time at pera just in case the film will end in disappointment for me.

In fairness Mace, mahaba yung kwento mo kay Anthony tungkol sa ex mo after nyong kumain sa shabu-shabu restaurant. Pero what made me happy is that hindi ko na-feel that I was sluggishly dragged through it. Common nang maririnig ang linya na sinabi ni Mace pero ang delivery ni Angelica Panganiban, tagos. Pakiramdam ko pareho kami ng expression ni Anthony habang nakikinig kay Mace. Ganun ang powerful execution ng lines, mapapa-empathize ka sa character. 

Hindi ko din alam kung ano ang meron kay John Lloyd at maraming girls ang gwapong-gwapo sa kanya. Siguro charming sya pero hindi lang ako na-charm. Pero si JM De Guzman, iba. Hindi sya maputi o chinito o ganun katangkad. Napaka-Malayan lang ng features at higit sa lahat, hindi nya kinailangan mag-pout at mag-smolder-look-in-his-eyes para maging charming. Maayos ang pagkakaarte kaya charming ang result. Yung iba kasi tiwala lang sa charm nila pero epic fail ang pag-arte.

Overall, I think what made the story click is that it’s real, simple, natural, relatable, straight to the point, walang unnecessary paligoy-ligoy at well-thought out ang sequences. Huling-huli ang kilig at the right moments. Nakuha pa kong patawanin sa end credits! Kaya yun Mace, paglabas ko ng sinehan napangiti ako sa scene na na-imprint sa mind ko: yung book nyo na The Arrow with a Heart Pierced Through Him. Napabuntong-hininga din ako ng malalim na malalim, “Haaaay… kaya. Kaya naman pala. Kaya naman pala nating mga Pilipino na gumawa ng ganitong pelikula na inosente at hindi kailangan ng kissing at bed scenes para gumanda. Bakit hindi natin dalas-dalasan pa? Sana din Mace, wag ka nang tatanga-tanga uli at absolute na talaga ang pag-move on mo.”

Sorry, first time ko fully maka-appreciate ng Filipino romantic film, so stop judging me! Susubukan ko bigyan ng chance ang One More Chance at kapag di ko na-appreciate, babalik na lang ako uli sa That Thing Called Tadhana. Tara nang mag-Sagada!

P.S. Sana magkaroon pa ng maraming Antoinette Jadaone na may gift of storytelling through filmmaking at hindi lang puro pera ang motivation. Napakarami kasing box office hits na milyon milyon ang kinita pero wala talagang kwenta ang kwento. Sikat lang. Magkapera lang. Pero hindi napapalago ang pagka-Pilipino ng isang Pilipino.

P.P.S. Please legally support this kind of film. Respeto lang sa mga nagpagod para gumawa nito. Hindi na nga ganun kadalas ang mga ganitong film, nanakawan mo pa.

P.P.P.S. Takpan ang mga tenga sa ilang scenes dahil medyo ang rami lang nilang mura. Galit lang talaga sa ex eh.

P.P.P.S. Madami nang list ang lumabas ng mga hugot lines pero itong isang favorite ko hindi ko pa nakikita so isasama ko na lang dito:

Nung paakyat sila sa overpass at nag-offer si Anthony na tulungan si Mace sa bagaheng dala nito.

Mace: Ako na, kaya ko.

Anthony: Mabigat di ba? …Mabigat.

Mace: Mabigat pero kaya ko.

Anthony: Kaya. Pero mabagal.

Mace: Pero kaya.

Anthony: Kaya?

Mace: Kaya. Pero mabagal.

Meet Halfway

On my way to Greek class today, the man in front of me was mouthing the lyrics of the song being played in the jeepney. I took my earphones off to listen to the song. It's Colbie Callait's Realize. To my surprise, the guy beside me was also softly singing along under his breath. Seeing how absorbed they were with the song, there's probably a girl in each one's life whom they kept missing on and they never had the right time to come together to settle differences and misunderstandings. They're probably wondering when that time will come.

You guys, I'm sending my hopes that you and that girl will meet halfway and agree and be together for life. It's not going to be that simple but if you realize something between the two of you, then it's going to take a lot of work.